Friday, January 9, 2015

Make It

[First I want to say that I was overwhelmed by your kind responses to my last post. Really, thank you so much for your kindness. That meant the world to me. I continue to feel better, though it's not a straight trajectory by any means. As one of my teachers used to say, We live in hope.]

Sam with the Artist

Henrietta has taken up painting. And coloring. And, just, making things in general. This is exciting, since I've basically been waiting for it since she was born. At three months, I helped her make her first work of art for her dad for Father's Day, but I confess it made her cry. And ever since I've been waiting, waiting, watching other kids her age get into it and trying not to compare. But I totally compared; let's be honest. And she was much more interested in putting the crayons in and out of the box than actually using them, and this made me feel a little panicky.

Painting is An Energetic Dance

So when she suddenly started saying, "Paint! Paint!" I immediately went out and bought more paints and brushes and fat crayons, and now we set her up at the kitchen table pretty regularly so she can get to it. 

I can't help it. I think it's so beautiful. 
And here's my favorite part, the part that makes me feel like I'm witnessing the miracle of life somehow. When we set her up and get the paints out, she says, "Yay! Make it!" She claps her hands. She is so excited to make something, to create. And I forget the dishes and sit there with her, painting with my own very meager skills, and just absolutely glowing with joy. Dark days aside, watching her  make art is the happiest I've been in years. And though I'm more or less obsessed with all of her words, "Yay! Make it!" might be my favorite of her phrases. It's the one I most want to remember and say to myself. Let's make it. Let's do this. Let's make beauty where there wasn't any before.



The Artist paints a "big monster."