tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post1914543942522266859..comments2023-04-02T09:50:18.123-04:00Comments on the busy heart: Of Jobs and Motherhood, Part 3: How I Got HereDejahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18116049968601456512noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-70903815974702121582013-02-06T16:45:43.210-05:002013-02-06T16:45:43.210-05:00I love this and all of your other recent posts too...I love this and all of your other recent posts too. I haven't had time to respond to everything because I've been, well, working (sort of).<br /><br />Chaz and I were still undergrads when Miles was born so two things were not in the budget-- daycare and staying home. I was lucky to have a wonderful boss who let me bring him along and hang out in a pack-and-play or a sling while I worked. I remember how snuggly I had to pull my chair in to wedge the boppy against my desk so he was safe to nurse while I reached over him to type. Around 6 months he was too busy to hang out with me, so Chaz and I staggered our work schedules so one of us could be at home. He was doing full-time school. I had dropped out after a few weeks of the online classes I started shortly after giving birth. At some point I realized that I was continually irritated with my baby whenever he was awake because I needed to be studying and just wanted him to always sleep. When that hit me I dropped my classes and didn't look back. Within two years I had lost all interest in the particular degree I had been pursuing. <br /><br />In the second year of life, I started working less...and less...and by 22 months I had quit. However, at the same time, Id been studying and amping up my own small business that kept me mostly at home. We were still poor and took out our first student loan around that time to help cover expenses for the last few months of Chuck's school. Then our East Coast grad school and work adventures began. For eight years Chaz worked like a dog and I reveled and struggled in life at home with baby after baby after baby. <br /><br />It is such hard work and so often not fulfilling in the moment. But lately I've longed for it more than ever. As my baby has out grown his sling, my milk has dried up for good and diapers have disappeared, I realize that chapter is simply over. That's it. There won't be another baby to hold until my babies grow up and have babies of their own. I'm still trying to grasp that ten years and four babies have passed.<br /><br />But I can't look back for long because I've got four bouncing boys from preschool to nearly middle school age. Even with homeschooling I'm finding more and more pockets of me time. I'm working more and in a field of interest I'd never found without my adventures with babies. The house is always chaotic, but I have this feeling that in ten more years, I'll be sitting in a half-empty house teaching the last babies to drive while I think back on the hair-pulling, name calling and exasperating efforts at teaching reading. I assume I won't remember it as having been so bad as it seems some days and I'm likely to be just a teensy bit sad to realize it won't happen anymore either.<br /><br />It's a good thing something new and exciting is bound to be happening in my little mens' lives though, so I can't linger to much on the lovely days we've had but can instead soak up whatever fun we're up to then.gingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11800896173488745516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-5977276983629737292013-02-06T10:26:12.054-05:002013-02-06T10:26:12.054-05:00Sounds like you are loving the moment. That's ...Sounds like you are loving the moment. That's as it should be. It passes way too fast. belannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918943255085131043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-88928350093092320022013-02-06T10:04:17.380-05:002013-02-06T10:04:17.380-05:00I really get annoyed when I hear quotes from famou...I really get annoyed when I hear quotes from famous ladies "yes, you can do it all". Nobody does it all. Something takes a hit (I'm looking at you Joan Collins!). The best you can hope for is to put your focus in the right place at the right time. I'm so happy for you that you found that right place for yourself right now.Amarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16851705755045197778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-48893281982822486752013-02-06T10:03:33.992-05:002013-02-06T10:03:33.992-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Amarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16851705755045197778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-13456546332913963662013-02-05T23:46:08.253-05:002013-02-05T23:46:08.253-05:00When I read this post, I wanted to add something t...When I read this post, I wanted to add something to my last comment about being a working mother. All that I can remember about deciding to take a break from teaching for awhile after Kizzie was born was relief. Huge I can breathe again relief. That's not to say that I don't pull my hair out in frustration some days, but it was the right decision for me and the Lord validated it with peace. And it's kinda funny that I consider myself a stay at home mom, now, because I'm still teaching part time and working on my master's degree in my spare time. But I get to spend my mornings with my little girl. We take a shower together some days, leisurely eat a snack, play with princesses, go shopping, or just cuddle. Just me and my Kizzie. And just so you know, that vision that you had of taking a baby to work with you was not realistic. At least with my kids, they NEVER let me get anything personal done, even as infants. I had to bring Kizzie with me to work last year because of a babysitting snafu and she crawled around on the floor trying to eat children's shoelaces, while I tried in vain to keep the kid's attention on my glorious lesson. Whatever. I just gave up and had us dance with the baby to music.Giulihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14860914051430664286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-23531934737111731962013-02-05T20:39:48.165-05:002013-02-05T20:39:48.165-05:00This resonates. We very unexpectedly bought a hou...This resonates. We very unexpectedly bought a house when I was eight-months pregnant -- at least I got to set it up in the three weeks before the baby arrived! I took a year off of work completely, and found a lot of joy in exactly what you describe -- bonding, creating a sense of organization in our home life. At the one-year-mark, I felt the pangs of wanting to get back to the intellectual work of teaching. My part-time teaching gig is amazingly the best of both worlds. I hope you are able to find similar outlets when you reach the point where you feel you need them!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-28609127787152316522013-02-04T16:46:32.738-05:002013-02-04T16:46:32.738-05:00Who could have figured this out on their own. Afte...Who could have figured this out on their own. After all is said and done, this sequence of events are a validation that God intervenes in our lives for our best benefit and learning. thanks for articulating it so well.Terryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04997737709358902416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-78051655033647148512013-02-04T15:45:26.126-05:002013-02-04T15:45:26.126-05:00Good for you! Don't ever let anyone make you q...Good for you! Don't ever let anyone make you question your choices and what feels right for you as a mother. You've got one lucky baby! Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01340527665943421923noreply@blogger.com