tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post3532046828183893329..comments2023-04-02T09:50:18.123-04:00Comments on the busy heart: On Being Too Sensitive: A Water Aerobics Follow-up Post Dejahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18116049968601456512noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-79727922024102897242013-10-19T22:18:43.847-04:002013-10-19T22:18:43.847-04:00hi, I'm backyard neighbors with Amara. She ju...hi, I'm backyard neighbors with Amara. She just sent me a link to this post, because, I guess, I too am sensitive. And because aquabitches live in my neighborhood. I totally get everything that you are saying, and the comments, too. thanks. I hope it's OK, but I am going to print up a copy of this post and hang it on my wall to refer back to later. And so that I can throw darts at it when the aquabitches strike again. That's probably going to work out better than sticking pins in the aquabitch voodoo dolls anyway. Kellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06618147425061850326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-57270986194657207512013-09-27T16:39:41.822-04:002013-09-27T16:39:41.822-04:00Just read the last four posts. So to all of them.....Just read the last four posts. So to all of them...--I am praying that something good will come soon and I know it will. The trip to New York sounds awesome, especially getting Henrietta to sleep! Water aerobics is an awesome exercise. But my goodness. Let's face it, we all have things that annoy us as we go about life. I've never understood the people that somehow feel it's their duty to speak up about them like your friend with the black fingernails. But I guess they do think they're doing some kind of good in the world. They just don't realize that the other half of us, as tough as some of us like to appear, may be thinking about that for weeks later, wishing it had never happened. It's a beautiful thing to be sensitive, especially to your own feelings and the people around you. :)Genevieve Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08991963001981336819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-9877173924488553562013-09-24T16:54:09.694-04:002013-09-24T16:54:09.694-04:00Ahhh, I love all of your comments and I want to re...Ahhh, I love all of your comments and I want to reply to all of them and thank you and say how smart you are, but blogger makes that really hard to do. I'm working on switching to Wordpress, in part because it makes it easier. <br /><br />K8, I like that phrase--"courage in many small things." Thank you for saying that, and for reading. It makes me happy that you're reading my wee blog.<br /><br />Ann Marie, I totally agree. When I was younger and worried about being sensitive, I told myself that a lot--that many of the things I loved about myself were also a product of my sensitive heart. I think that's important, too.<br /><br />Faith, I think we're on the same page, or similar ones. ;) Thanks for your thoughtful comments.<br /><br />MaryAnne, I love it when I'm on the side of research!<br /><br />Elise, I sure love you, too. And your writing is marvelous. I wish I had more of it to read.<br /><br />Emily (these shout-outs aren't in order!), I'm sure you swimsuit cleavage is magnificent. A good swimsuit is just nice to the girls. Thank you for reading.<br /><br />Unknown, thank you for reading and for your kind comments, too. Whoever you are, I like you. ;)<br /><br />I probably did catch all of you, but thank you for being here and responding to my post. It means a whole lot to me that I share the world with other sensitive souls.Dejahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18116049968601456512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-60773230280406438942013-09-24T15:20:29.083-04:002013-09-24T15:20:29.083-04:00I feel like this all the time. I feel like a nice ...I feel like this all the time. I feel like a nice person. Why aren't other people just NICE? <br /><br />Honestly, most of the time I feel like saying, "Karma?! Hello?! Where's the 'what goes around comes around' around here?" If I'm merciful and compassionate toward you... can't I have some of that too?<br /><br />All I can say is I love you. And, as always, wish I could write like you.Elisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00783856629294017384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-34596447708982754552013-09-24T12:01:01.524-04:002013-09-24T12:01:01.524-04:00I just want to say that with the hard parts of sen...I just want to say that with the hard parts of sensitivity also come many attributes that I think are godlike--compassion, empathy, and a carefulness with others that is exemplary. Feeling things deeply is difficult sometimes but also an exquisite source of joy and fulfillment. <br />AMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01226837976782603553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-16178242293704652252013-09-24T07:31:16.962-04:002013-09-24T07:31:16.962-04:00I realized in the light of day that I totally did ...I realized in the light of day that I totally did a "fixit" answer comment. Sorry. Just trying to say it's not you it's them. Amarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16851705755045197778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-34400384972250800022013-09-24T06:34:49.854-04:002013-09-24T06:34:49.854-04:00My older siblings always told me: "stop getti...My older siblings always told me: "stop getting offended." I was the easily-offended sibling, but then again, I was the youngest girl of a family of 7, so I often felt teased or picked on. My brothers sort of have the "get over it" attitude, so I guess in some ways I did learn to do that. That said, I think it's important to have these experiences that make us want to cry, hide, lash out, whatever. Because truth is, whether or not you think you're sensitive or not, everyone has a soft spot, a vulnerability as well as days that just plain suck. So realizing that, is helpful for being a more kind & considerate person. <br /><br />Gym classes are a crap shoot--some days you feel like a million bucks during & after class, other days are completely demoralizing for one reason or another. <br /><br />(I'd also try yoga. It's usually a very non-confrontational atmosphere.)Janae @ Bring-Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03537844248811822244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-72471442437502577782013-09-24T02:12:53.553-04:002013-09-24T02:12:53.553-04:00Deja, you are such an inspiring woman! Being a per...Deja, you are such an inspiring woman! Being a person who is also "too sensitive" I know how hard it is to curb your instinct to lash out or run and hide so you can have a good cry. The way you handled the situation shows an incredible amount of control :) because the feeling doesn't just go away right after something happens. I tend to dwell on it or let it run over and over though my mind lol thank you for sharing your insight with me :) Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13544489522826191334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-44583058989689308962013-09-24T02:12:31.724-04:002013-09-24T02:12:31.724-04:00Deja, you are such an inspiring woman! Being a per...Deja, you are such an inspiring woman! Being a person who is also "too sensitive" I know how hard it is to curb your instinct to lash out or run and hide so you can have a good cry. The way you handled the situation shows an incredible amount of control :) because the feeling doesn't just go away right after something happens. I tend to dwell on it or let it run over and over though my mind lol thank you for sharing your insight with me :) Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13544489522826191334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-69415015536942160712013-09-24T01:53:06.540-04:002013-09-24T01:53:06.540-04:00Oh it was territory! We had a girl in our gym who ...Oh it was territory! We had a girl in our gym who would come 15 minutes late every class, and leave early, and still think this place on the front row to the left was "hers". One time my friends and I came in before class and she had TAPED A SIGN with hername on it to the floor.We ripped it off -not cool to people actually showing up! I think maybe in a weird way it made her feel more like a regular - a more worky outty person. These ladies weren't here last time, and I bet it's the same thing -that part of the pool had their name on it. Extra ironic seeing they don't come every time. Anyway -you could have been a hybrid of Marilyn Monroe with the brains of Eleanor Roosevelt and it wouldn't have mattered.Amarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16851705755045197778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-40877421966798666482013-09-23T23:10:30.772-04:002013-09-23T23:10:30.772-04:00Yes! And I realized that after I commented I may h...Yes! And I realized that after I commented I may have been less than sensitive. Funny how that goes, isn't it? I think we all have thing that we will carefully teach our children because of our own experiences. And I think God did it on purpose that way. It is remarkable how it all goes. I just wish, so often, that I could shield our children from hurts that have come or are coming because I know in my years I have learned how to deal. I don't want them to have to learn it so young. But then I guess I'd never find a good time for it. <br /><br />I have no doubt I am rambling and for that I apologize. I enjoy reading your blog and thinking. And I just realized that having insecurities and being too sensitive are probably the same thing. At least that's how it is for me. Another interesting thing to think about. <br /><br />I am so sorry. Even more rambling. I think I do understand you, though. And I think you are too great (there are those words again...). All my best to you, Deja. faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00984774570270945505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-91295737024399773962013-09-23T23:08:59.411-04:002013-09-23T23:08:59.411-04:00The research is actually all with your instinct - ...The research is actually all with your instinct - don't trivialize an emotion by saying that someone is too sensitive - the emotion is real.<br /><br />Plus, imagine how kind the world would be if everyone were sensitive.MaryAnnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13253503049272771754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-53889661178295523882013-09-23T22:24:00.847-04:002013-09-23T22:24:00.847-04:00Faith, thanks for your comment. As someone who'...Faith, thanks for your comment. As someone who's had both "you are (blank)" and "you're acting (blank)" said to me, those phrases have never struck my ear as appreciably different. Though I'll still probably use "being sensitive" when it's needed. <br /><br />And maybe I should clarify: it's not that I think it's impossible to change, that one can never be LESS sensitive. On good days, I'm certainly less sensitive than I was when I was younger. But I'm less sensitive because I've been working on it, beginning with the emotion itself: so this hurts, now what? What do I do with it? Do I run away because I'm hurt? Do I lash out because I'm hurt? What are more useful approaches? Over 31 years, I've learned a few--prayer, honesty, some careful internal reasoning, realizing everyone has a broken heart in some way or another--it's those skills or coping methods I plan to teach Henrietta. And what I'm saying is, in a way, when something catches me off guard like that woman did this morning, I am JUST as sensitive as I was when I was a kid. I just know how to take it to a better place. I hope that's what I'll help my kids realize when any of those other difficult traits crop up: when our first impulse is to be pushy/bossy/blunt, what can we do to curb that, or, if we've already been bossy/blunt/pushy, how to we navigate the emotional/psychological distance to a better, kinder behavior. Sometimes that equals out to having those feelings and behaviors cut short before we have them; often, it doesn't. And I think we have to be okay with that, too.<br /><br />Does that make more sense?Dejahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18116049968601456512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-82036791124926486022013-09-23T22:05:22.568-04:002013-09-23T22:05:22.568-04:00The other comments already saw what I would have s...The other comments already saw what I would have said.<br /><br />So, I'll just say - aquabitches! <br /><br />gingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11800896173488745516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-52609827016579380182013-09-23T22:05:21.834-04:002013-09-23T22:05:21.834-04:00The other comments already saw what I would have s...The other comments already saw what I would have said.<br /><br />So, I'll just say - aquabitches! <br /><br />gingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11800896173488745516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-90954364692603332802013-09-23T21:14:24.007-04:002013-09-23T21:14:24.007-04:00Thank you so much for this beautiful post. As some...Thank you so much for this beautiful post. As someone who also carries "that feeling" through many of her days, I've always liked bravery as a complement to fragility-- living with a sensitive soul seems to require courage in many small things.katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11479704281758699140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-77902655441510221072013-09-23T21:11:16.154-04:002013-09-23T21:11:16.154-04:00You know, I don't like the idea of telling any...You know, I don't like the idea of telling anyone “You ARE (fill in the blank).” Rather, “You are ACTING...” Or the like. None of us likes to be defined in so narrow a way. And I will throw the flip side out there: what if you have a child who is frequently too pushy, too bossy, too blunt, etcetera. Would it not be appropriate to try to curb those attitudes? I have been trying to teach some of our kids lately how important that it is for us to try to change — in good ways. And that we can and should change — otherwise God could not have commanded us to be perfect. <br /><br />All that being said, what lame-os. Some people need to be sent to their room until they can play nicely with others. <br /><br />I hope your day got better and in sorry this is so long. faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00984774570270945505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-82553984944876209162013-09-23T20:37:03.045-04:002013-09-23T20:37:03.045-04:00I am sensitive, too, and I see it in one of my nie...I am sensitive, too, and I see it in one of my nieces (as I see it in some, but not all of my sisters). When children are not nice to this 7 year old girl, she says, "That hurts my feelings." I am proud of her for saying this. I hope she will always be brave enough too, and honest enough too, and that she, like us, will use our words. I also once heard another child be unkind back, when she said that. The other child said, "Everything hurts your feelings," and my heart felt many things, because sometimes that is true of me too.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02031681667059089646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-43366670129010475712013-09-23T20:28:47.760-04:002013-09-23T20:28:47.760-04:00I suppose you have a genetic inclination for being...I suppose you have a genetic inclination for being "too sensitive." Hope you can teach Henrietta your beautiful way to respond to mean people.belannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918943255085131043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-19237523034984965072013-09-23T19:36:36.094-04:002013-09-23T19:36:36.094-04:00"Aquabitches." Oh, how that made me laug..."Aquabitches." Oh, how that made me laugh. And then your post almost made me cry. I've been labeled as "too sensitive" as well. Thank you for voicing what I never thought through but instantly knew to be truth when I read it. You are a kindred spirit. I just wish I also had great swimsuit cleavage.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09827586433437956419noreply@blogger.com