tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post8953321571328208600..comments2023-04-02T09:50:18.123-04:00Comments on the busy heart: My Spilly PartsDejahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18116049968601456512noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-38587839393316148702011-04-24T23:05:26.148-04:002011-04-24T23:05:26.148-04:00chaucer said if people were offended by what he wr...chaucer said if people were offended by what he wrote, the offense was taken, not given.Sam Ruddickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02590280234120506033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-35867613384809012982011-04-21T23:51:29.905-04:002011-04-21T23:51:29.905-04:00I've been walking around for a week now, rumin...I've been walking around for a week now, ruminating over this post. And I'm not sure I have anything particularly useful to add. But I do want to say thanks. <br /><br />I've been wrestling with the idea of lines—where to draw them and when and why and with/for whom. Making those decisions can be a useful exercise. But sometimes it paralyzes me.<br /><br />I get particularly tripped up by the line (if there is one?) between my personal experience and the stuff I create. <br /><br />For instance, if I'm angry and I write about it, should I throw it out into the world or should I have my own experience through the writing and just be done with it? Am I producing art or just a grumpy screed? <br /><br />Of course, there's not one answer, but I'm glad you brought it up. And I'm glad I got to think about it. And I think you should share all that loveliness of yours—potentially awkward or not—by spilling it often.kathy w.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03434629568277896345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-35882490999707860232011-04-19T23:58:13.105-04:002011-04-19T23:58:13.105-04:00Sorry, that above comment was NOT Joseph, but me! ...Sorry, that above comment was NOT Joseph, but me! My husband would be horrified to think I posted under his name. Oops!Janae @ Bring-Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03537844248811822244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-77520314015699557462011-04-19T23:56:58.812-04:002011-04-19T23:56:58.812-04:00I don't feel like I'm a very articulate pe...I don't feel like I'm a very articulate person, but I strive to be. I want to be honest and truthful, yet have an element of tact. I want to say the perfect thing, and like everyone else, I don't want to sound like a dope in doing so. Most times I feel like I can't express what's really going on in my head for the above reasons. Also, I greatly admire people who can put words together in an engaging, intelligent way because that's one thing I feel I lack. I sometimes hyper-edit my conversations, writing, ect. which makes me come off as sterile. The only time I don't really do this is when I'm with my husband. <br /><br />Thanks for your thoughts.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09282150575135512229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-73503896380551200972011-04-15T15:29:00.736-04:002011-04-15T15:29:00.736-04:00I value your post and these comments.
My own tak...I value your post and these comments. <br /><br />My own take is that you can and should be more and more open with those you love and trust. Those whom you trust the most are allowed to see the real, inner you. That is what grows love and trust.<br /><br />Saying something shocking just for the sake of being perceived to be edgy or clever is just not honest. Much of current literature, music, art and pop culture subscribes to this way of becoming noticed by the world.<br /><br />We must necessarily be guarded with the rest of our acquaintances to avoid being hurt or to be hurtful.<br /><br />I love Sam's style of getting writing class members' attention. He gets them to think about how to express themselves in their writing by challenging them with edgy humor. An entirely different thing.Terry Earleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09413259950857344770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-13334949599975517642011-04-14T16:18:03.437-04:002011-04-14T16:18:03.437-04:00Spent a lot of years in the tight ball. Hope you ...Spent a lot of years in the tight ball. Hope you can break free.belannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918943255085131043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-41990256553870201502011-04-13T23:08:08.700-04:002011-04-13T23:08:08.700-04:00You're right. I keep thinking about this post...You're right. I keep thinking about this post, and even talked to Mom about it --she should be showing up here eventually, I've just seen the other around a lot lately, and was reacting to that. "Say what you want and everyone else can go to hell" kind of thing, and I realize that's not what you're talking about. I protect myself too until I trust someone enough to know they won't hurt me, and sometimes it's a ridiculous length of time. I don't write the post, I don't share my feelings --tight ball of fear. Good description. But don't you love love love the people who aren't afraid? I crave their company.Amarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16851705755045197778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-7008402938507600972011-04-13T16:46:06.608-04:002011-04-13T16:46:06.608-04:00@Genev: good point that it depends on the crowd. ...@Genev: good point that it depends on the crowd. And it seems like I've seen you become braver and more excited about your opinions as of late. It's lovely to see.<br /><br />@Fritzi: You are lovely. I love your spilly parts, too.<br /><br />@Annie: "to be the unedited you with the unedited them." How beautifully said. Knowing you struggle with the same thing makes me feel like I'm in good company.<br /><br />@Amara: I'm 95% sure what I said couldn't have been offensive, wouldn't have hurt people. I see what you're saying, and I agree we have to be careful with people (probably more careful than we are) but I'm not talking about that sort of thing. I'm talking about editing myself, about trying to "protect" people from myself while simultaneously trying to be close to them. That formula doesn't seem to work. I don't think my "real" self would hurt people. I hope not, anyway. Or maybe I do think that, which is why I sometimes stay in a tight little isolated and frightened ball of fear. Sigh.Dejahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18116049968601456512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-39302163718863934462011-04-13T16:31:52.170-04:002011-04-13T16:31:52.170-04:00Here's the thing: without any editing, people...Here's the thing: without any editing, people don't get just shocked, they get hurt. They don't just get surprised, they get offended. Caring for what other people think isn't fashionable nowadays, but it means you CARE about people. In order to help people and serve them you've got to watch it a little, and helping others brings some happiness that's non-negotiable for me. However, if I can't express my true opinion about things with someone, I will never be close to them. This is scary sometimes, but the risk is worth it to be able to be comfortable in their presence later. No true love without risk. Sorry --I guess I feel both ways about it depending.Amarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16851705755045197778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-85477809054043709202011-04-12T16:10:56.187-04:002011-04-12T16:10:56.187-04:00Oh boy, you don't even know how well I can rel...Oh boy, you don't even know how well I can relate to this. I am the over-editor of the century when it comes to what I say and how I act. I've thought about this a lot and for me, it comes from an innate need to please, a fear of being rejected even for being myself. It's something I'm constantly aware of. I have to consciously work on letting my real self spill out, as you say. That's the only way to form a real relationship with a person--to be the unedited you with the unedited them. Anything otherwise is just frustrating.Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01340527665943421923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-17405507190122266332011-04-12T15:09:32.866-04:002011-04-12T15:09:32.866-04:00Deja,
I'm like you...I let it all out and the...Deja,<br /><br />I'm like you...I let it all out and then I worry about it later. I feel like growing up the way we did may have a bit to do with it. Just so you know, I adore your spilly parts. I'm so happy you don't fit into the "mold". The older I get the more I don't want to fit in. <br /><br />hugs,<br />Fritzi MarieKittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06689554675037442435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963254704638073232.post-7099263897647051372011-04-12T14:23:30.536-04:002011-04-12T14:23:30.536-04:00I can't imagine ever being as comfortable as S...I can't imagine ever being as comfortable as Sam saying or writing something "shocking," but I guess it all depends on what is true and what needs to be said. You probably could have said the exact same thing in another situation with another group of people and had complete nods of agreement and support. But what the outer response is shouldn't be the determining factor in letting your mouth or pen go.<br />But that's probably why in some situations I don't just say what I wish I could--maybe someday I'll be braver. :)Genevieve Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08991963001981336819noreply@blogger.com