the busy heart

In regards to my long-standing quest to not eat a cookie, I submit the following successful, harmless substitution: I'm back to not eating sugar. I stopped eating treats of my own awhile ago, but I'd been having bites of Sam's sweet treats here and there, thinking bite-shmite, but I'm over that. Last night, at Cheesecake Factory, Sam got a slice of, well, cheesecake. And I took not a bite. Not. A. Bite. And you know? I didn't even want to. I could clearly remember the way it coats the mouth, how it churns in my stomach most uncomfortably, how my head hurts instantly from the sugar. What have I had instead? Herb tea (like the sort above, or mint, which is my handsdown favorite) makes a remarkably excellent substitution for sweets; baked apples with cinammon and a little stevia; chocolate "milkshakes" made from almond milk, cacao powder, a bit of cashew butter, frozen banana, and stevia (Sam loves the milkshakes, too. They're goooood.), etc. ...

I feel obliged to record some clarity of thought here, but I may just be talking to myself. In fact, I am talking to myself, but it's a self down the road, days or weeks from now, when I'm buried in the semester and not taking very good care of the Deja. Self: poor, sad, unhappy self: listen up. Awhile ago, when I posted something about going veganish, my friend Tara asked in the comments what made me make the leap. And I didn't answer, mostly because I didn't know how to answer concisely. I've turned the question over and over in my mind since then, figuring out how to articulate it. And, if you see how long this post is, I've given up on concise. The short answer is that several months ago I was at the doctor's office, feeling really sick and miserable. I was getting a physical, which turned out to be the most absurdly lame physical I've ever received. I mean, my cat has given me better breast exams, if you'll excuse the image. This wa...

It's been hot here. 90 degrees by 10 in the morning, 97 by early afternoon. When we got out of our little yoga class yesterday, I groaned, "It feels like Mississippi." And it was so. We're without air conditioning in our little place, which makes matters most unpleasant. The kitties station themselves under beds and couches and chairs, lying on their backs with paws tucked to their chests, surrendering. Sam and I sit on the couch, laptops in front of us, sweaty selves sticking to our clothes, writing and working or playing with blogs and facebook, and whining about the heat. Our two big fans make it sound like we're in an airplane, but do little for the actual temperature. So yesterday we escaped to the only place that makes good sense: the movies! We drove downtown, parked under Boston Commons, and strolled over to the theater on Tremont. We went to that one specifically because it was showing two movies we wanted to see. As in, Sam went to one and I wen...

Strawberry Lemonade. Check it. All you need: blender, some water, juice of two fresh lemons, 15-20 small frozen strawberries, a bit of stevia. You do the thing and you make the thing and you put the stuff in the thing and then you blend the thing and then you drink it and then you are glad. Watermelon? That works too. It's all summer in the tummy.

We had friends over for dinner last Sunday. Yes, friends! I was as shocked as you are. They're ward friends who were excellent at ohhing and ahhing at our food and our little house and such. I like that a in a friend. I managed to snap a picture of the table before they arrived. Pictured: the pretty set of dishes Sam's mom gave us for Chistmas, hydrangeas from our yard, our special $1 placemats from Target, Sam's pink lemonade, and, in the back there, our glamorous trashcan. (Is the silverware on the wrong sides? Sam set the table, not that I know how to do it myself. Oh well.) Not Pictured: green salad full of herbs (have you tried fresh dill in salad--yum!), homemade balsamic glaze, lemon cashew pesto with angel hair, broccoli, potato onion garlic bread from When Pigs Fly Bakery . For dessert, Celestial Cream (whipped cream sort of thing from Eat, Drink, and Be Vegan), fresh blackberries/blueberries/strawberries/cherries, very naughty Blueberry Cranberry Lemonade b...

I haven't wanted to say much about the vegan thing since I got home because I didn't want to jinx it. I knew I was going to have a junk food fling in Europe and boy did I ever. But I was also rather careful, got the smallest cups of gelato and threw them away when I didn't want anymore, ate vegetarian and tried my best to get as many veggies as possible, etc. Vegan is the wrong word for what I am, anyway. I mean, it's sort of my goal and I like thinking of myself that way because it helps me steer clear of a lot of food that makes me feel lousy. But I'm not in it for the animals. And if I order veggies and don't ask for them butterless, hey, I don't care. I am pretty strictly vegetarian now. It makes me feel sick just thinking about eating meat. I can't handle the texture or something. I ordered a shrimp pasta dish one night in Italy because I really wanted everything else in it and I thought I could handle it. Oh no I couldn't. It didn...

I have so many pictures to post, I don't even know where to start. We're home from New York. It was a lovely trip (you'll see the pics), but we're so glad to be back with our kitties for a few days. We don't like driving that far, we've decided. And we like these cats. Several times a day we lament leaving them for a month while we're in Europe. If we could take them and not make them miserable, we would. (Gratuitous picture of the kitties. The one on the right is the baby, left is the mama. He is enormous.) (And one of Sam's kitty, Tadzio, T-Todd, etc. He's gorgeous, no? He's like a male cat model.) Anyway, before I plaster pictures, here are a few random bits of information: *The day before we left, my car stopped working. Wouldn't start. Apparently I have bought the precise make and year of a Toyota with a defective computer. All of the computers on this particular car go out sooner or later. There isn't a recall on the part. My warr...

You simply must make these cookies. I mean, I guess you don't must. But they're uber-yum. Go here to 101 Cookbooks for the recipe. They're cousins of the "healthy" cookies I posted awhile back, but these little babies are even better. Just incredible, and simple, and, you know, kinda healthyish. I made them for Sam and me a few weeks ago and we polished them off in a frightfully short amount of time. Just tried them out on the parental units, and they approve. Ingredients: grated carrots, oats, whole wheat flour, fresh ginger, baking powder, maple syrup, walnuts, and coconut oil. I added unsweetened coconut, and I was not sorry.

I'm in Utah for a few days, and I'm no good at telling people I'm coming (especially because I thought for awhile I was going to Cali for the week to help with my sister's new baby.), so here I am. Staying at my parents' house used to frustrate me, food-wise. They eat so dang healthy that it seemed like there was nothing to eat. I confess to making more dinner/lunch plans than strictly necessary just because potatoes and broccoli and a big green salad seemed like such a dud dinner. I was on vacation! This time? Their healthy food IS the vacation. I'm in a swoon. It feels like I'm staying in one of these vegan resorts that are cropping up--where you stay there and they make you gourmet vegan meals. Every morning when I wake up there is a gorgeous grain staying warm in their rice cooker. I have it with some barley malt powder, my mom's mix of ground nuts and seeds, a splash of soy milk, and a few juicy clementines on the side. For lunch I have some of thei...

* Amara asked about the Nightmare Gallery in Salem . I must say, a love for frightful things is not something Sam and I have in common, so as we were going in to said gallery, while he was saying, "Ohboyohboyohboyohboy," I was saying, "Ohnoohnoohnoohno." But it wasn't bad. It was just a museum of horror movies. The weird part was that after nearly three years of hanging with the Sam, I had seen WAY more of those movies than I ever thought I would. I recognized characters, remembered lines. THAT was the terrifying part. * It's gorgeous outside, just gorgeous. I took a run, lapping up the vitamin D on my bare shoulders. A little puppy insisted on conversing with me. I stopped at the park at the top of that tall-tall hill, sat on the stone wall, looked at the city, and cried for my friend Scott, who died last summer in Provo canyon. Didn't know I was still mourning that. Anyway, aside from that, it was such a happy outing. *The other night I dreamed that Ma...

Here's tonight's dinner. Lemony Cashew-Basil Pesto with whole grain pasta and garlic-sauted broccoli rabe. Sam, when he saw this picture, said: "That actually doesn't look anywhere near as good as it tasted." I'd agree. I like this better than traditional pesto. Lighter or something. The lemon just shimmers on the tongue and the cashews are oh-so-creamy. Here's a picture of the pesto all alone: And here's the recipe, courtesy of Dreena Burton's Eat, Drink, and Be Vegan . Lemony Cashew-Basil Pesto 1 large clove garlic 3-3 1/2 tbsp fresh lemon juice 3/4 dry mustard (I just used a squirt of brown mustard. Tasted fine.) 3/4 tsp sea salt black pepper to taste 2 tbsp olive oil (I used one, and two tbsp of water.) 1 tbsp water 1 cup + 1-2 tbsp raw cashews 2 1/2-3 cups (packed) fresh basil In food processor, combine garlic, lemon juice, mustard, salt, pepper, oil, and water, puree until smooth. Add cashews and basil and puree. The pesto will be thi...

So today I made fat free vegan waffles and I know you're groaning over there, imagining how hard and icky those would be. But you know what? They rocked. And not as in hard as rocks, but really genuine rocking. Wow they were good. Especially with my special berry sauce, which really isn't special, just tasty. Come to my house. I'll make you healthy waffles. Also, Sam and I went on a walk because it was sunny and gorgeous and there were little tiny flowers, so there are SOME flowers up in this hood. He made me walk up this hill that was enormously steep, which was fine because there was a pretty little park at the top with a stone wall and a view of Boston and happy people were sitting on the stone, and I was in this lovely mood so I kept asking Sam if we could have a picnic some day at this pretty park, and I don't think he was digging my four-year-old-ed-ness. Whatever though, because if I make the food and I put it in a basket and I tell him we're eating...

Made this for dessert, a chocolate tofu pie. Easy, EASY recipe. This is what you do: Blend one package of silken tofu with one t of vanilla. Melt one bag of chocolate chips over medium heat in a little sauce pan. Mix tofu stuff and chocolatey goodness. Taste. Add a little sugar-type substance if it needs it. Pour (scrape) into pie shell. Refrigerate until set. (The recipe said three hours; mine took one.) Put it in your tummy. It ain't perfectly healthy, but I like Sunday desserts. Especially on fast Sunday.

This morning at five a.m., the kitties did their usual routine: chasing and running and jumping and playing on and around our sleeping bodies. Oh how I hate that particular routine. It's like they have little cat alarm clocks. Playtime, it rings. So I got up, coaxed them into the kitchen by shaking their food box, fed them a little, then snuck back in and closed the door. And Sam said, "I was just dreaming that Meatsock [the kitty] had a science test. A biology test, in one of those big auditoriums that hold hundreds of people. And you were really worried he wouldn't do well. And I was trying to tell you he'd do just fine." "Was he a human form of Meatsock?" I asked. "No, definitely a cat. No opposable thumbs or anything." Then I remembered/realized what I'd been dreaming. I confess, I record a few episodes of America's Next Top Model a week on DVR, and I watched two last night while I graded midterms. And you know what I was...

I started a vegan whole foods diet, and it's hardcore. I'm afraid to talk about it because I've only been doing it for a week and I feel like a poser. But someday I'll be cool, like my mom, who taught me to eat this way when I was a little whiny kid, and my friend Janae, who makes it look glamorous on her blog . I will say this: I feel gooooodddd. And the food is yummy. 100s of times tastier than all the stuff I was eating before. Here's what I made last night, with a few modifications. I added an avocado and a cup and half of brown rice. I also used turbinado sugar, and really, you probably don't need it. Or at least not this much. I'm learning, I'm learning. I think I'll make a huge batch and bring it for my lunches next week. Anyway, it's exquisitely good. And the colors are so vibrant that it looks like a rainbow on your plate. Go rainbow, go! (I stole this picture. I took one of my plate last night but then, well, I messed it ...