Parting a Sea of Shoulds
I've always been obsessed with self-improvement. From the time I was small, I've been making these lists that divide my life into categories--health, money, talents, etc--and writing out ambitious and nearly-absurd goals for myself. Examples: I will create five new recipes a week. I will exercise for 2 hours on our rebounder trampoline every day. I will read a book every day. (Mind you, I was 11 years old.) Maybe this sort of system works for other people, but for me this was a recipe for discouragement. Fast forward to my life now, and my goals have gotten more elaborate, no less plentiful, and no more doable. And basically, for all that I hope to change, and for all of the ways I want to change, I had grown to completely mistrust my ability to do so. Sort of like: why bother? I'll just fail anyway. That sort of thing. Last year, in another effort to change my life ...