the busy heart

On Sunday we had the best weather of the year.  Sure, it rained, but it was also 77 degrees and mostly quite sunny, so we did the only logical thing: we took a walk along the Charles River.                                  [i didn't get a good pic of sam. he'll thank me for not posting a not-good one.] [boats. we have big plans to ride one of these boats very soon.] I love spring here.  I wish it would feel more springy and less wintery already, but the trees are blooming, and I'm remembering how obsessed I get with them.  When I'm walking downtown, I have to be careful not to run into buildings or cross streets without looking both ways, because all I want to do is look and look at these incredible trees.  I love how dark the bark looks, and how green the green looks--like the freshest thing in th...

Last night Sam and I and a few friends went to Easter Vigil at Sam's church .  When we arrived, they had a basket of long thin candles and everyone picked one up.  At the beginning of the service, the church dark, the priest stood at the back of the church and lit an enormous candle.  From that one candle, several small ones were lit and then, slowly, we passed the flame to everyone in the congregation.  I could tell once mine was lit that it was made from bee's wax, which instantly brought me back to my childhood.  My father kept six hives of bees in our backyard, and that smell reminded me of extraction day, a big metal drum spinning with wax frames in our driveway and the bees flying around, intensely curious.  I stood there in the church, next to Sam, watching everyone's face lit by their small flames, listening to a man sing about the light of Christ, how it illuminated the world, how we must keep it and tend it and pass...

Sam went to school one day and came back with a card for me featuring this image.  He says it's a publicity photo.  Apparently the guys at the mall photo booth took him completely seriously, which makes me laugh all the more. Being married to Sam? Not a bad deal at all.

On Sunday I said two awkward things.  Two things that made the people I was talking to raise their eyebrows or laugh nervously.  I'm the type of person who is still thinking about those things I said two days later.  It's not that I offended anyone, it's just that sometimes my brain works differently, and what I think/say comes out a little weird.  Sometimes I love this about myself--that my brain is not like other brains--but most of the time I wish it wouldn't be so.  I wish, in some deep part of me, that I could always be the good girl, to think how you think, to please you, World. I realized today that Sam is sort of the opposite of this.  If he says something shocking, something surprising, this is a good day for Sam.  He may worry, occasionally, about his students reporting him to someone who might be concerned about the edgy joke he made, but mostly, when he makes his students laugh nervously or raise their eyebrows, he feels like he's done hi...